Wag! Wag!  … sniff… sniff… Do you smell what the Max has cooking?  I mean joking…   I love a good joke, don’t you?  well, I don’t have any good jokes to share with you but I have some I bet your kids will get… even if you don’t.

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can Hoe, Hoe, Hoe

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What does a dog on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy Paws

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle …okay, you might not want to share this one with the kids

What did the dog dressed up like Santa Claus say?
Woof, Woof, Woof (… duhhhh…. it’s dog, what else would it say?

What did the dog do when he saw his first Christmas tree?
He peed on it (… duhhhh… it’s dog, what else would he do?)

(This last one is not a joke, but someone forwarded this to me so now I’m sharing it with you. Sorry, couldn’t find the original author – let me know if you know)

Walking’ in a Doggie Wonderland

Dog tags ring, are you listenin’?
In the lane, snow is glistenin’.
It’s yellow, NOT white – I’ve been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.

Smell that tree? That’s my fragrance.
It’s a sign for wand’ring vagrants;
“Avoid where I pee, it’s MY pro-per-ty!”
Marked up as my winter wonderland.

In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I’ll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know it’s mine-mine-mine!

Straight from me to the fencepost,
flows my na-tu-ral incense boast;
“Stay off of my TURF, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland.”

Celebrate the Season!

Max