My buddy Djembe the Dog just announced that he is running for US President. I’m sure you’ll all agree that having someone from the Canine Party in the White House would be a good thing for the Country. We’ve had years of Donkeys and Elephants in the White House. The time is now for a Canine!
So, you might be wondering what a Canine Presidency might look like. Would it be a period of ‘Change,’ ‘Reform,’ ‘Marverickiness?’ Do can at least be sure that if a pitbull was elected he would have to vow to wear lipstick. (You know so it would appeal to all the hockey moms out there.)
I’m sure there would be some fundamental changes in the first 100 days of a Canine Presidency. Change would start at the White House:
- The White House would obviously be changed to the Dog House. (Duuuhhhh….)
- There would be daily Press Barkings
- The Front Lawn would be turned into an off-lease dog park
- An agility course would be set up in the West Wing
- All State Dinners would begin with 15 minutes of formal butt sniffing, following by 10 minutes of leg humping and 10 minutes of territory marking.
- Canine Presidents would be limited to one term since in dog years each term would be 28 years.
Of course there would also be changes to the President’s Cabinet.
- Cabinet Meetings would officially be changed to Pack Meetings.
- A Rottweiler would be named Secretary of Defense.
- A Chihuahua would be named to head Border Security and Immigration. (Hopefully my buddy Chiquillo would get the job…)
- We’d have a Terrier as Secretary of Energy. Have you seen how much energy those little dogs have?
- Lassie would head Homeland Security. Think about it… if the President were to fall into a well who better to go get help then Lassie?
- A cat would be named Ambassador to some tiny country like Nauru just to demonstrate that this Adminstration is Bi-Specian. (Seriously, Nauru is a country… population 13,700)
So I say, Run Djembe Run! And to all my canine friends, whether you hug trees or pee on them, I say vote Doggie vote! Let’s elect the Nation’s first Canine President in 2008.
By the way, I understand that there is an organization called ACORN, presumably run by Squirrels, that would be happy to register you. Remember ”on a voter registration form no one knows you’re a dog….”
I’m Max the Golden Retriever and I paid for this message
so I see the supposed changes you have outlined here but I have to disagree with one of them only because I am sure it is already being done therefor not a change. The change about the butt-sniffing, leg humping and territory marking is all politics is about (I mean really… what’s the difference between butt-sniffing and butt-kissing). I hope the canine party can rise above the politics we already have… remember… we want change!
Avid Fan,
Well barked!
Put into that perspective I absolutely agree that butt-sniffing would not be a change.
Maybe the only change here should be that the butt-sniffing should all be done on the new Front Lawn off-leash dog park. That way the citizens could at least see who’s sniffing whom…
Keep On Wagging!
Max
Hope to see you on my hometown ballot.
Kathy