… nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning…

… yawn … streeeetcccccchhhhhh… oh, nothing better than a mid-morning nap laying in the sun on a cool South Carolina fall day… now, that I’m awake though I wonder what I’ll do to entertain myself this morning…

… sniff… hey, what’s this in the front yard? Sniff… sniff… scratch… scratch… it looks like that big paper thing that my person reads ever day… he must have forgotten to pick it up this morning… I wonder if there’s anything interesting in it?

… I sure am glad my friend Tia showed me how to read a little bit before I left my old town… I never would have thought how important reading was until she taught me… I mean, I never would have known that last week was National Dog Week unless I’d read it in the newspaper… you’d have thought I would have known because my people were lavishing gifts and praise on me all week… but nope…

… it was just a normal week for me… of course I’m not sure how I’d be able to tell if I was getting extra gifts and praise… seems like every time I do something even slightly interesting I get a treat… would you believe that I can go for a walk and get a treat just for staying close to the person walking with me? Or, how about this… I can go outside, pee on the straw, come back inside and get a treat… I sometimes get treats for laying down… (didn’t they know I would have done that for free? Ha!) …sometimes I get treats for sitting (again… duh… it’s not like I wasn’t going to be sitting down eventually anyway…)

… and here’s the best one… what’s up with the whole ‘shake-a-paw-get-a-treat’ thing? What is it about people and shaking paws? I see my people doing shake-a-paw all the time with other people and they don’t even give each other treats for it? … people… just can’t figure out what they’re thinking sometimes…

Now that I think about all the treats I better do a little extra squirrel chasing this afternoon. It’s already bad enough that I have to be around ‘Six Pack Abs’ McConaughey with my shirt off at the beach all the time… it would really be tough if I started getting a pot belly from all the treats… someone might think I was a pot belly pig… Ha! Ha! Ha! Next thing you know people will be calling me Bacon instead of Max (Get it? Dog who eats too many treats gets a pot belly so he gets called a pot belly pig… where do I come up with these things?) (No, seriously… you’re laughing right? A dog that looks like a pot belly pig named Bacon? Come on that’s funny stuff… I wonder if Leno could use another writer…)

Anyway… let’s see what’s in the paper today… I like to read the animal section first… I’m not sure why they call it the ‘Sports’ section… it’s obviously about animals… I mean look at the first page today… the Panthers beat the Falcons, the Eagles beat the Bears (by the way… who’d think an eagle could beat a bear? Maybe next time I’m in the country I’ll have to take on one of the giant cow things)… and on page three… yup, just as I suspected, here’s a story about an injured Tiger… and let’s see… flip… flip.. scratch… scratch… anything today about those birds that play fetch? By the way, it sure is tough to flip pages without opposable thumbs ; => )—

… sniff… sniff… yup, right here on page 5… the Cardinals, the Orioles, the Blue Jays… look at this headline: “Birds Fail to Finish Strong” another story about birds who play fetch… sure, they call the game they’re playing baseball, but I’m pretty sure it’s fetch… think about it… one bird hits a ball with a stick as hard as they can into a field… then a bunch of birds run after it as fast as they can to try and catch it… and then whichever bird gets the ball has to get it back to the place from where it was hit… I know I’m just a dog and all but… that’s fetch! Wag! Wag!

… sniff… sniff… doesn’t look like there’s anything else interesting in the rest of the paper today… flip, flip…. oh, here’s something about a bunch of donkeys and elephants agreeing to spend a bunch of money to bail-out some fat cats…. I sure hope Pumpkin, the cat from across the street doesn’t get any of it… I’ll bet he’d just use it to buy catnip… or mousetraps… of course, he’s not too fat so they’re probably talking about him anyway… not sure from where the donkeys and elephants got all that money but they sure are good at spending it… I bet my people could by me even more tennis balls and treats if they could get that kind of money…

… anyway ( I digress…) … here’s a story about a place near my beach where you can adopt an animal… I wonder if I could talk my people into adopting another dog? I’ve have someone to play with, someone to share my toys with… someone to share my treats with… … … someone the people could give belly rub instead of me… … … … … okay, maybe I’ll hold off on asking for now…

… oh, well that looks like everything… I better roll this thing back up before my person gets home… I don’t think he’s quite ready to know I can read yet… hopefully he want notice the drool spots…

… here little squirrel…. I’ve got candy acorns…