…. what a lazy, lazy afternoon….  ever have one of those days where your mind just wonders?  yeah, me too…. here’s what I think about when my mind wonders…

… if a dog barks in the woods but no one hears it, is he really a dog?

… a priest walks into a bar carrying a dog.  The bartender looks up at the priest and says, “Hello Father, what’ll you have today?”  … What else would he say?

… which came first, the cat or the dog?  I’m guessing it was the dog… think about it.  We are OBVIOUSLY the superior species so we must have been first.  Sure, I know all my friends who are cats are raising your backs and hissing at me right now but you know it’s true. 

Seriously, who’s “Man’s best Friend?”  Not cats.  Ever heard of a cat dragging a baby out of a burning building?  Nope!  … sure a cat lands on it’s feet if it falls, but dogs are smart enough not to fall…. 

Oh, yeah…. what about tricks?  Ever seen a cat fetch a ball?  Maybe a mouse, but some of my cousins fetch ducks… ducks are wayyyyy cooler than dead mice.  Sure, I’ll give you that chasing a ball of string around the room is fun but it sure isn’t a trick.  And what cat knows how to shake-a-paw?  None is my guess. Or sit?  I agree that cats are great at ‘lay’ but nobody gives treats for just laying.

Ever heard of a “seeing eye cat?”  Course not…. Ever heard of a Police Cat?  Can a cat carry a six pack of beer on it’s back when it’s hiking in the woods with it’s person?  I think not….  Ever see a cat riding on a fire truck?  What about a cat herding sheep?  No… and No….

And, really, what kind of animal has hairballs anyway?  … yep, definitely the dog came first….

… why do they call it a dog “park?”  Isn’t the whole point, not to park when you’re there?  … that’s what carpet is for, right?  … do squirrels taste like chicken or…. do chickens taste like squirrels?  …. makes you think doesn’t it?

… what would I do with a car if I ever caught one?  … So, what are tails for anyway?  and how come mine keeps following me around?  Maybe it’s really a spy sent by a cat to keep tabs on me….

…. stretchhhhhh….. man, oh man, I’ve got to get out of this house…..